Ask the Amys: Favoritism, Unsupportive Managers, and More

Okay. Time for ask the Amys. This is when listeners send us their dilemmas. They may be interpersonal. They may be with their managers. They may be about their own professional development, and we chew them over and share our thoughts. That's right. And today's questions are around returning from maternity leave, dealing with an unsupportive manager, being taken seriously as a first time manager, plus a couple other things. Let's start with a question about returning to work after having a baby. Yeah. Okay. So I'm gonna read this one to you. Alright. This is from a listener who is back at work pretty recently, and she asks, how can a woman returning from a career break or maternity leave effectively handle comments or advice from senior leaders, such as take it slow, your family is important, or don't pressure yourself when you express interest in taking on more responsibilities or pursuing growth opportunities. As a new mother, I find myself second guessing whether I should aspire for growth or take on challenges, especially after receiving well meaning advice to just slow down. How can I balance these external perspectives with my own ambitions? Well, let's start with stop second guessing yourself. Yes. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Right? Yes. So in the moment, you can say, no. I'm I'm pretty sure I wanna take this on. Yeah. And if the person keeps pressing you, you can say with a smile on your face, if I were returning from paternity leave, would you be saying this to me? Right. Right? Yep. Well and I'd like even to draw a contrast to say, you know, I know some people like to slow down after they have kids. Don't say women. Right? Like, I know some people like to slow down after the kids. That's not where I'm at right now, so I'd love to talk about my opportunities. How how can I drive this forward? Right. I mean, at some point, you have to move along. Yeah. And so changing the subject to topic a, which is I wanna take on this responsibility. Here's how I'm thinking about it. No excuses. No. I know I'm just back from having a baby. No. I know I have a lot of responsibilities. You have to explain that. Yeah. You're professional. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I think the other thing because if we assume the comments are well meaning, it may be that that person's experience was that they wanted to slow down. So you might even ask them questions. Oh, what was it like for you after you returned having kids? What were your challenges? Oh, I think I'm in a different position. Here's where I am. This is what I'm thinking. So just acknowledging that they're probably giving you advice from their own perspective because that's what most of us do, but that it may not be relevant to you. And she may have to even say, …