Our Lives Are an Endless Series of 'And'

What It Covers

Catherine Schulz discusses her book Lost and Found, exploring how humans simultaneously hold contradictory emotions like grief and joy, examining her father's death alongside falling in love with her partner.

Key Questions Answered

• •Generational trauma response: Schulz's father survived Holocaust decimation, witnessed his uncle's murder at age seven, yet became ebullient and generous rather than bitter, demonstrating how identical traumatic forces shape siblings into vastly different people through choices about patience and equilibrium made throughout life.
• •Modern attention overload: Contemporary life requires holding incompatible realities simultaneously—covering deportations then making dinner, seeing Gaza ruins then spring days—creating attentional overwhelm that previous generations avoided by consuming twenty minutes of daily news instead of constant phone notifications about crises beyond personal control.
• •Happiness as duty: Parenting reveals profound satisfaction in duty rather than fun—consistently waking at seven thirty, making breakfast, being present regardless of personal preference. This sustainable happiness source contrasts with fleeting pleasure, offering meaning through serving others' needs rather than pursuing momentary enjoyment.
• •The conjunction "and": William James identified that minds focus on perched thoughts (nouns, verbs) while ignoring flying transitions (and, if, or). The word "and" uniquely connects anything without requiring relationship, appearing as the third most common English word and formerly ending the alphabet through the nineteenth century.
• •Grief as attention enhancer: Loss forces recognition of life's brevity and fragility, creating sharp focus that makes the world appear more beautiful and gift-like. This heightened attention and gratitude cannot be replicated by other forces, making grief paradoxically essential for appreciating existence despite its pain.