A neuroscientist's guide to managing our emotions

This is the TED Radio Hour. Each week, groundbreaking TED Talks. Our job now is to dream big. Delivered at TED conferences. To bring about the future we want to see. Around the world. To understand who we are. From those talks, we bring you speakers and ideas that will surprise you. You just don't know what you're gonna find. Challenge you. We truly have to ask ourselves, like, why is it noteworthy? And even change you. I literally feel like I'm a different person. Yes. Do you feel that way? Ideas worth spreading. From TED and NPR. I'm Manoush Zomorodi. Today on the show, managing our emotions so they don't manage us. But we start with a story about a violin. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen and welcome. ZOMORODI Not long ago, Sotheby's in New York held an auction for a Stradivarius. The Joakim Stradivarius, a masterpiece of sound, and we can start the bidding here at $8,000,000, at $8,000,000, at 8 The bids rose quickly. At 8,500,000. Some from anonymous clients phoning in. 9,000,000. I have Ella at $9,000,000. At $9,000,000 already. Numbers. At 9,500,000. Up. At 9 Until Sold. $10,000,000. So what makes a Stradivarius so valuable? Well, for one thing, they're very rare. Only about 600 Stradivarius violins are believed to exist today. But perhaps more important are the sounds that they produce. Musicians swear by their exquisite craftsmanship and say no other violin can match their rich tones. A Stradivarius is this instrument that is capable of of creating this magical music that transports us and creates beauty in the world for those who who listen to it and for for the person playing it as well. But here's the thing. Even a Stradivarius can sound terrible if it's played poorly. Have you ever heard someone play a violin the wrong way? Oh, yeah. It's painful. Please stop. Painful is the is the perfect word. Right? Because if you don't know how to play that instrument, it can cause pain. And that's true of our emotions as well. This is Ethan Cross. He is a psychologist and neuroscientist at the University of Michigan who specializes in emotional regulation. His latest book is called Shift Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You. And he compares regulating our emotions to playing an instrument. Our brain is like our very own Stradivarius. When our emotions are triggered out of proportions, that's akin to me trying to play a Stradivarius violin. It can cause enormous pain for both the player as well as those around us. Now, we can all learn to play that instrument effectively. It takes practice. I genuinely believe that the same is true when it comes to our emotions. We can all learn to manage our emotions more effectively. To do that though, we need to know what tools are out there to help us achieve that goal. And the big problem I think that so many of us face is that we're never …