Why Algorithms Can’t Predict Your Love Life with Dr. Paul Eastwick

Pushkin. As William Shakespeare once said, the course of true love never did run smooth. And one of the unsmoothest parts of love is the initial attraction phase. You see somebody across the way who looks kinda cute, but will that person like you back? Will they think you're hot enough, smart enough, successful enough? Sometimes the answer is yes. Cue all the hearts and fireworks. But at least some of the time, the answer is no. The person that you're into isn't that into you. Relationships and attraction especially, there can be a lot of rejection. It can be pretty demoralizing. And to some extent, you can't skip that part, but I think it really matters why was I rejected in this instance. This is doctor Paul Eastwick, an expert on the psychology of human mating. And there's a whole set of ideas out there that suggest that you got rejected because you're a three out of 10, and you're just gonna need to settle for the other threes. Paul is referring to a set of ideas he calls the Evo script, the notion that human attraction boils down to the harsh laws of natural selection. Under the Evo script, finding the right partner is all about finding someone with good genes. Some of us, those so called nines and tens out there, possess a whole host of traits that signal those good genes. The rest of us, not so much. You have a certain set of attributes. They characterize who you are, and they determine what you're gonna get on the market. This is a set of ideas that got very, very popular, but, honestly, it's not very inspiring. You do kinda just wonder, like, what am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me? And, boy, it makes the rejections hit that much harder. But Paul's joining me on the show today to share some good news. His research has found that when it comes to dating, many of these Evo script ideas simply don't hold up. In fact, he's just published a new book with a much more inspiring view on the evolutionary origins of love. It's called Bonded by Evolution, the new science of love and connection. It's about a lot of the ideas that we kinda get wrong about attraction and relationships and what the science actually says about how relationships work. But what does the science say about how relationships actually work? Well, Paul will tell us after these quick messages from our sponsors. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human. Seeking more brightness these days? Research shows that simply gazing at bodies of water like the Pacific Ocean can help lower your heart rate and increase feelings of relaxation. Consider a trip to sunny San Diego. Put your toes in the sand. Smell and feel the ocean breeze. Spending time in nature can be great for your mental health. And as you soak up the bright side, feel your taste buds, your …