Live: Michael Lewis and Maya Shankar on "The Other Side of Change"

What It Covers

Michael Lewis interviews Maya Shankar about her book "The Other Side of Change" and podcast "A Slight Change of Plans." Shankar shares how personal fertility struggles led her to explore human adaptation to major life disruptions. The conversation covers three case studies from her book: Olivia (locked-in syndrome), Ingrid (amnesia), and Mary Anne (accidental death), examining how people reconstruct identity after trauma.

Key Questions Answered

• •Self-Affirmation During Crisis: When facing setbacks, list sources of meaning unrelated to the current problem. Shankar's husband prompted her to name things bringing purpose after a miscarriage—work relationships, family roles, daily routines. This exercise zooms out from tunnel vision, revealing identity extends beyond one threatened goal. The practice makes people feel more whole even when circumstances remain unchanged.
• •Belief Revision Through Change: Most beliefs rest on flimsy foundations from childhood messaging, culture, and subconscious absorption. Ingrid's amnesia wiped her shame about indigenous heritage before memories of that shame returned, revealing she had over-interpreted her mother's protective warnings. People should regularly interrogate beliefs rather than treating them as immutable truths. Ask: Would I hold this view if born into different circumstances?
• •Identity Foreclosure Risk: Excessive goal orientation creates vulnerability when plans fail. Shankar made five and ten-year plans from age five, tying self-worth to specific outcomes like motherhood. Research shows humans are terrible affective forecasters—unable to predict how they will feel after major changes. People underestimate their own capacity to evolve, falling prey to the end-of-history illusion where they believe they are finished changing.
• •Shared Psychology Across Changes: People facing wildly different disruptions share more psychological common ground than those experiencing similar surface events. A cancer patient and a betrayed spouse both grapple with feelings of betrayal. This means any change story offers universal lessons—the specific circumstances matter less than the underlying emotional patterns like anxiety about uncertainty, grief over lost identity, or catastrophizing future scenarios.
• •People-Pleasing Under Duress: Olivia's locked-in syndrome forced her to confront inability to curate her image for her boyfriend's disapproving family. She realized the gravity of her condition only when she could no longer manage others' perceptions. Contrary to assumptions, catastrophic news does not immediately right-size old preferences and values. People remain psychologically unchanged in the immediate aftermath, still caring about six-packs while facing mortality.
• •Exploration Without Goals: After losing violin at age fifteen, Shankar's father advised spending summer reading widely and talking to many people without trying to identify a college major. This goalless exploration led her to discover cognitive science through Steven Pinker's book on language. Goal-oriented searching creates limiting tunnel vision. Curiosity without predetermined outcomes allows discovery of previously unknown possibilities and interests.