Sara Bareilles On: The Feelings You Fear Might Destroy You, What Antidepressants Actually Did to Her Creativity, and Why There's Nothing to Fix
Episode
63 min
Read time
3 min
Topics
Health & Wellness, Relationships, Psychology & Behavior
AI-Generated Summary
Key Takeaways
- ✓Grief as presence practice: Grief functions as what poet Andrea Gibson calls "a shortcut to the truth" — it strips away distraction and forces acute awareness of the present moment. Bareilles describes grief producing a rawness that bypasses the mental editor, creating a state similar to what meditation teachers cultivate deliberately. Sitting with overwhelming emotion, rather than fleeing it, produces a tenderizing effect that changes perception of daily life.
- ✓Medication and creativity: Bareilles held a years-long fear that Lexapro would suppress her artistic voice or distance her from authentic emotion. Her actual experience was the opposite — she describes the medication as a return to self-recognition rather than suppression. The more useful question, she argues, is not whether one is "enlightened enough" to go without medication, but whether the absence of it prevents any meaningful functioning or creative output at all.
- ✓Name it to tame it: Verbalizing fear or emotional wobbliness — rather than isolating with it — reduces its intensity. Bareilles applies this directly: she found that press interviews about grief-themed material became the antidote to pre-release anxiety, because naming the feelings in conversation with others diminished their power. The principle maps directly onto the therapeutic concept of affect labeling, which reduces amygdala activation.
- ✓Clearing the channel for creative work: Bareilles describes her songwriting philosophy as treating herself as a portal rather than an author — the music exists in the ether and arrives through a cleared channel. Practically, this means ejecting the internal editor during drafting, staying in the mystery of the process, and releasing ownership of the output. Several songs on *Good Grief*, including "Say Leave" and "Wind Is the Weather," arrived nearly fully formed through this approach.
- ✓Acceptance versus resignation in fertility: After years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, a failed egg retrieval in Colorado, and a miscarriage in early 2025, Bareilles distinguishes between accepting circumstances and surrendering to them permanently. She frames unexpected outcomes — including a failed retrieval that produced no egg — as containing embedded value: the Colorado trip led to involvement in Andrea Gibson's documentary *Come See Me in the Good Light*, which she describes as life-altering.
What It Covers
Grammy-winning songwriter Sara Bareilles speaks with Dan Harris about her album *Good Grief*, built around losing three close friends — Chad Joseph, Gavin Creel, and poet Andrea Gibson. She addresses antidepressant use, creative silence, fertility struggles, grief as transformation, and the practice of staying present with painful emotions rather than suppressing them.
Key Questions Answered
- •Grief as presence practice: Grief functions as what poet Andrea Gibson calls "a shortcut to the truth" — it strips away distraction and forces acute awareness of the present moment. Bareilles describes grief producing a rawness that bypasses the mental editor, creating a state similar to what meditation teachers cultivate deliberately. Sitting with overwhelming emotion, rather than fleeing it, produces a tenderizing effect that changes perception of daily life.
- •Medication and creativity: Bareilles held a years-long fear that Lexapro would suppress her artistic voice or distance her from authentic emotion. Her actual experience was the opposite — she describes the medication as a return to self-recognition rather than suppression. The more useful question, she argues, is not whether one is "enlightened enough" to go without medication, but whether the absence of it prevents any meaningful functioning or creative output at all.
- •Name it to tame it: Verbalizing fear or emotional wobbliness — rather than isolating with it — reduces its intensity. Bareilles applies this directly: she found that press interviews about grief-themed material became the antidote to pre-release anxiety, because naming the feelings in conversation with others diminished their power. The principle maps directly onto the therapeutic concept of affect labeling, which reduces amygdala activation.
- •Clearing the channel for creative work: Bareilles describes her songwriting philosophy as treating herself as a portal rather than an author — the music exists in the ether and arrives through a cleared channel. Practically, this means ejecting the internal editor during drafting, staying in the mystery of the process, and releasing ownership of the output. Several songs on *Good Grief*, including "Say Leave" and "Wind Is the Weather," arrived nearly fully formed through this approach.
- •Acceptance versus resignation in fertility: After years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, a failed egg retrieval in Colorado, and a miscarriage in early 2025, Bareilles distinguishes between accepting circumstances and surrendering to them permanently. She frames unexpected outcomes — including a failed retrieval that produced no egg — as containing embedded value: the Colorado trip led to involvement in Andrea Gibson's documentary *Come See Me in the Good Light*, which she describes as life-altering.
- •Patriotism and grief as overlapping experiences: Bareilles wrote "Heartland" from the perspective of the Statue of Liberty and the Constitution as personified figures, framing political disillusionment explicitly as grief rather than anger. The distinction matters practically: grief allows for continued love of an ideal alongside clear-eyed acknowledgment of failure, whereas anger tends toward either all-caps outrage or resignation. Naming political loss as grief opens a path that neither denial nor despair provides.
Notable Moment
During the first season of *Girls5eva*, Bareilles was simultaneously experiencing a full dissociative episode and starting Lexapro for the first time. Between takes, she had panic attacks in her dressing room, then returned to set to perform comedy. She describes this split as deeply disorienting — a stark contrast to releasing *Good Grief*, where her inner and outer lives are finally aligned.
Episode Transcript
Hello, everybody. Welcome to the 10% happier podcast. I'm your host, Dan Harris. Pop songs generally cover romantic love. I, I've recently did a search, for how many songs contain the words I want you, and I think and this is a while ago. I think it was, like, scores, if not hundreds, of songs. However, there are some great pop songs that cover, weightier, heavier stuff like grief. If you think about, Let It Be, Paul McCartney sings about his late mother, mother Mary. Also artists like Beyonce and and Kanye and Frank Ocean have written and sung about grief. And now comes my friend, Sara Bareilles, who has recorded a whole album, which comes out today, on the subject of grief. It's called Good Grief, and it is accompanied by a documentary, which is quite beautiful, and a whole tour. If you have never heard of Sarah, I don't know, what's the matter with you. But if you've never heard of Sarah, she's a, a Grammy winning songwriter, the composer and star of Waitress on Broadway, and much, much more, and a friend of mine, as I said. Sara Bareilles, welcome back to the show. Hello, Daniel. I, sometimes ask people, especially when I have somebody on the show who I know, I ask a question that is it it might seem perfunctory or tossed off, but I genuinely wanna know the answer, which is, how are you? What's going on? You know, I'm a little wobbly. I'm a little wobbly right now. I think being on I had breakfast with my husband this morning, Joe, and, I it was occurring to me that being on the precipice of sharing this body of work to the degree that it will be shared is just a really it's like an OD in vulnerability. And me, I love vulnerability. Don't get me wrong. I love to cry in front of people. I'm not mad about it. But, it's a really tender, very personal offering. And so I think there is the part of me that's like, oh, I hope people will like it. You know? The powerlessness of that. Or it's like you release this thing that you love and you hope other people are are kind to it in some way or that it means something to someone else in some way. I hear you. I hear you on the wobbliness. That seems I mean, if you weren't, you there might be a question of, like, sociopathology, given given given how vulnerable, you are making yourself in this in this in this, like, not only in the record, but also in the in the documentary. But so I'll just say I'm I'm, like, just one person, and I'm totally biased, but I've been listening to the record and watching the documentary. Both are beautiful. You had played me a couple of songs from the record beforehand, so I was I had heard some of the work. But now, like, …
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- Good GriefBy guest
by Sara Bareilles
“Grammy-winning songwriter Sara Bareilles speaks with Dan Harris about her album *Good Grief*, built around losing three close friends — Chad Joseph, Gavin Creel, and poet Andrea Gibson.”
other
“During the first season of *Girls5eva*, Bareilles was simultaneously experiencing a full dissociative episode and starting Lexapro for the first time.”
by Andrea Gibson
“The Colorado trip led to involvement in Andrea Gibson's documentary *Come See Me in the Good Light*, which she describes as life-altering.”
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