The new Xbox is not an Xbox

What It Covers

Microsoft and Asus launch Xbox Ally and Xbox Ally x handheld gaming devices at $600-$1000, promising console-like experiences on Windows. Reviews reveal significant software problems, sleep issues, and Windows bloat undermine the hardware potential.

Key Questions Answered

• •Windows handheld limitations: Xbox Ally devices require 40-90 minutes of mandatory Windows updates before first use, followed by additional Asus app updates. The experience remains fundamentally Windows-based rather than console-like, contradicting Microsoft's marketing promises of seamless Xbox gaming anywhere.
• •Hardware versus software gap: Both Ally models feature solid components including 80-watt hour batteries, VRR screens, and AMD Z2 Extreme chips, but Windows prevents reliable sleep/wake functionality that Steam Deck achieves on Linux. Performance suffers compared to Steam Deck despite theoretically superior hardware specifications.
• •AI cognitive impact research: MIT Media Lab study using EEG brain scans found students using large language models showed significantly reduced brain network connectivity and weaker neural engagement compared to those using only their brains. However, effects reversed immediately when LLM access was removed, suggesting temporary rather than permanent cognitive changes.
• •LLM dependency patterns: Research participants given ChatGPT access progressively relied more heavily on AI with each essay task, eventually just copying and pasting outputs. All participants produced nearly identical essays regardless of starting approach, and couldn't quote their own work minutes after completion, indicating minimal knowledge retention.
• •Gaming handheld market positioning: Microsoft needs purpose-built Xbox handheld software architecture rather than Windows skin to compete effectively. Current approach of licensing Windows to hardware partners like Asus creates conflicting priorities between selling operating systems versus selling games, undermining the core gaming experience users expect.