Stop Faking Confidence: Master These Cues Instead

Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatest. We've got Vanessa Van Edwards in the house. Good to see you. Oh, hello. We are we are talking all things master, the secret language of charismatic communication. I think the facial cues we give people really put off a lot of if we can trust someone, if we can't trust someone, you know, if someone's interested, if they're enrolled, if they're unenrolled, all these different things. Mhmm. For twenty years, I had four missing teeth. When I was, I guess, I was 16, I got eight teeth removed. Four wisdom and then four more on the sides. For many years, twenty years of my life, I had these gaps, right? And so I'd always smirk kind of on the side to kinda hide to hide it. What? And I don't know if that helped me or hurt me. And you're like, no, it didn't. So I would smile big, but then I would kinda like half smirk sometimes. I've seen your smirk. And after, and my book cover too is kind of like just smiling, but it's a big smile, but it's not a showing the teeth one. Is it better to smile without teeth or with teeth in order to enroll people and you as a human being Mhmm. To get anything you want in your life? What research found is that a real smile, whether it shows teeth or not, the only the biggest difference is it has to reach up here. The eyes. The the upper cheek muscles, actually. So those eye crinkles yeah. You do that a lot, though. I feel like I squint a lot, like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got you got a little smizing. Right? Yeah. So that's actually the only cue we're looking for. So it actually does not matter. So if you have a profile picture, a dating profile picture, a LinkedIn profile picture, I either want you neutral or with eye crinkles. The worst is sort of that in between. Now I don't mind, like, a soft up mouth. Right? So you and I both have this on our book covers, a soft up mouth, but it has to engage those upper cheek muscles. What doctor Barbara Wilde found is that when they showed pictures of people with the fake smile and a real smile, The real smile was contagious, so when people looked at the real smile they themselves felt happier. Mhmm. When they looked at the fake smile they felt no mood change. Interesting. So the reason why that's important is I think that we think about like oh I wanna show up, I wanna be really my most confident self, but what we don't realize is that our cues are contagious. Yes. That if you show authentic happiness you are more likely to infect happiness. Actually, there's one more face cue I wanna talk about. So this is the cue that sort of started me on this crazy …