How to Move On, Let Go of Past Mistakes, and Reinvent Yourself

What It Covers

Mel Robbins interviews former megachurch pastor Carl Lentz about rebuilding after public scandal, infidelity, and career loss. Lentz shares how he moved from shame to self-forgiveness and created a new life chapter after losing everything five years ago.

Key Questions Answered

• •Fractures compound over time: Unaddressed problems in life act like physical fractures—you can function temporarily, but other areas overcompensate and eventually everything breaks down. The dread of confronting issues is selfish because it robs others of your best self while you maintain lies.
• •Shame versus conviction distinction: Shame keeps focus on yourself (selfish introspection about being bad), while conviction drives change. Shame acts like self-imposed shackles that prevent forward movement. Only you control those shackles—forgiveness means removing them and investing in who you're becoming, not dwelling on past failures.
• •Stop digging principle: When in crisis, the first action is to stop making things worse. Put down the shovel, raise your hand, and tell someone trustworthy. Tragedy amnesia makes you remember only what hurts most, distorting reality. Look for who stayed, not just who left.
• •Forgiveness as decision plus maintenance: Forgiveness is an immediate choice, but follow-through requires daily work through therapy, prayer, and soul maintenance. You prove self-forgiveness by investing in your new version, not by continuing to reference your old self. Feelings of resentment don't negate the forgiveness decision.
• •Long game farming mindset: Give your best self at least as much time to build your life as your worst self had to destroy it. Decades of destructive patterns cannot be reversed in months. Plant seeds daily without expecting immediate harvest—consistency over time produces transformation.