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The Happiness Lab

How to Bounce Back from Life’s Curveballs (with Dr. Maya Shankar)

39 min episode · 2 min read
·

Episode

39 min

Read time

2 min

Topics

Career Growth, Productivity, Health & Wellness

AI-Generated Summary

Key Takeaways

  • Self-Affirmation Exercise: Actively shift mental focus toward valued aspects of identity not threatened by current change. Naming other meaningful roles—work community, spiritual life, hobbies—reduces threat intensity and prevents denial by showing identity extends beyond what was lost.
  • End of History Illusion: People underestimate future change while acknowledging past transformation. Recognizing you will become a different person with new capabilities means asking not how current-you navigates change, but how future-you with evolved skills and perspectives will handle it.
  • Possible Selves Expansion: Challenge constrained self-concepts by experiencing moral elevation through witnessing extraordinary human actions, surrounding yourself with new ideas, and defining identity by why you do things rather than what you do to discover alternative paths forward.
  • Affect Labeling for Rumination: Name specific negative emotions—frustration, despair, envy—to create psychological distance. This shifts perspective from being the emotion to having the emotion, transforming overwhelming feelings into observable experiences you can manage rather than embody.

What It Covers

Dr. Maya Shankar explains how unexpected life changes reshape identity and offers cognitive science strategies to navigate career losses, relationship endings, and health diagnoses by embracing transformation rather than resisting it.

Key Questions Answered

  • Self-Affirmation Exercise: Actively shift mental focus toward valued aspects of identity not threatened by current change. Naming other meaningful roles—work community, spiritual life, hobbies—reduces threat intensity and prevents denial by showing identity extends beyond what was lost.
  • End of History Illusion: People underestimate future change while acknowledging past transformation. Recognizing you will become a different person with new capabilities means asking not how current-you navigates change, but how future-you with evolved skills and perspectives will handle it.
  • Possible Selves Expansion: Challenge constrained self-concepts by experiencing moral elevation through witnessing extraordinary human actions, surrounding yourself with new ideas, and defining identity by why you do things rather than what you do to discover alternative paths forward.
  • Affect Labeling for Rumination: Name specific negative emotions—frustration, despair, envy—to create psychological distance. This shifts perspective from being the emotion to having the emotion, transforming overwhelming feelings into observable experiences you can manage rather than embody.

Notable Moment

Research shows people experience more stress anticipating a fifty percent chance of electric shock than certainty of receiving one. Brains prefer knowing bad outcomes over uncertainty, explaining why unexpected changes feel more destabilizing than predictably difficult situations.

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Episode Transcript

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human. Ever been at the pharmacy counter and your mind goes blank when the pharmacist asks any questions? That's why you need to listen to Beyond the Script from CVS Pharmacy and iHeartMedia starting January 14. Hosted by doctor Jake Goodman, each episode features real conversations with CVS pharmacists, the health experts you see most, breaking down the questions you wish you'd asked. From which meds may not mix well to what vaccines you need before a big trip, they'll bust myths, decode trends, and share practical advice you can actually use. Listen to Beyond the Script on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Happiness Lab is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance. When it comes to taking care of their customers, Amica goes the extra mile. From listening to your insurance needs to following up after a claim, Amica provides coverage with empathy. Because as a mutual insurer, Amica is built for its customers and prioritizes you. It's the way insurance should be. Amica, where your priority number one. Visit amica.com and get a quote today. Being a small business owner isn't just a career, it's a calling. Chase for business knows how much heart and effort go into building something of your own. Manage all your business finances from banking to payments to credit cards, all in one place with their digital tools. Plus access online resources designed to help your business thrive. Learn more @chase.comslashbusiness. Chase for business. Make more of what's yours. The Chase mobile app is available for select mobile devices. Message and data rates may apply. JPMorgan Chase Bank NA, member FDIC. Copyright 2026, JPMorgan Chase and Company. Pushkin. Especially in the new year, we tend to associate feeling happier with making changes. Sometimes little changes, moving a bit more or connecting more with friends, and sometimes big changes, leaving a toxic job or starting a new creative project. But when we fantasize about the change we'll experience in 2026, we're usually thinking about the changes that we choose. But life can also hit us with changes that we don't see coming, being dumped, getting laid off, or even receiving a frightening health diagnosis. When unexpected changes like these happen, they can often leave us feeling very stuck. We feel like who we are and who we can become is no longer clear. We don't have a firm grip on ourselves anymore. So in the second episode in our season about getting unstuck in the new year, we're going to explore how we can work with change in 2026 rather than fighting it. And we have the perfect guest to guide us. Though, I admit, I might be a little biased. I'm Doctor. Maya Shankar and I'm host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans and the author of The Other Side of Change, Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans. And you're also my former student. I am. 17, man. …

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