🛡️ “War-folios” — Iran market reaction. Dutch Bros’ energy. Anthropic’s moral marketing. + Fitbit for farting

This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Tuesday, tea boy, Tuesday, March 3. And today's part is the best one yet. This is a tea boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. So, Yedis, Jack just flew in from Florida and he's trying to convince me that sunburns can in fact grow up to be tans. That's what happened. Look at this complexion right now. I'm bronzing. I think I think, like, 12 dermatologists unsubscribe from the show right now, Jack. Yeah. I really should have reapplied that SPF. I really should have. Jack, how's the championship pickleball game with the in laws over there? Toasty. Jack also just told me shuffleboard's the new Peloton. But we've got three fantastic stories for today's team, boy. Jack, what do we got on the pod? For our first story, the war in Iran has expanded to 11 Middle Eastern countries, as well as the stock, oil, and even fashion markets. So Jack and I are looking at your war folio, your stock portfolio during a Middle East war. For our second story, Dutch Bros is now the number three coffee chain in America. But just 10% of their drinks are actually hot coffee. We'll tell you what they really are. And our third and final story is the biggest beef in business right now. It's between Anthropic, OpenAI, and the Pentagon. So here is the Shakespearean business question. Can ethics be a competitive advantage? But Yetis, before we hit that wonderful mix of stories woah. I mean, what a mix. Love the mix, Jack. Nick, when it comes to technology, the next frontier is actually your rear. That's right, besties. Because the most cutting edge new wearable out there is a Fitbit for flatulence. Yeah. What the Apple Watch did for our hearts, this new device does for our farts. Yeah. But more specifically, it's for your gastrointestinal health. If you got kids in the back seat, they're gonna love this story. Get this. Scientists at the University of Maryland have prototyped a sensing device that you clip to the seat of your underwear. Basically, you're placing this thing on the ground zero of your GI tract. And the goal is to measure something we humans have never measured before, the average number of toots from one human being, and figure out why some of us pass gas more than others. So they're asking participants to track their food along the way as well and see if it correlates with their farts. Because forty percent of American adults, yes, we're looking at you, you got tummy issues, we hear you. Guilty. And the key to digestive nirvana could be this Fitbit of farts. So Jack, can we please talk about the demand over there? I can smell it from here. 4,000 people have already applied to test version one of this farty Fitbit. Because besties, we have put a man on the moon. We have split …