#1072 - Dr Debra Soh - Why Nobody is Having Sex Anymore (& why it matters)

What It Covers

Dr. Debra Soh, neuroscientist and author of *Sextinction*, examines the documented sex recession affecting all developed nations, where 1 in 3 men and 1 in 5 women report no sex in the past 12 months. The conversation covers contributing factors including porn, hormonal birth control, endocrine disruptors, hypergamy, social media, and declining testosterone over the past 40 years.

Key Questions Answered

• •Sex Recession Scale: The decline in sexual activity is not a redistribution from partnered sex to solo activity — the total aggregate has shrunk. Every category measured has fallen: intercourse, oral sex, partner and solo masturbation, even among adolescents. 37% of adults now have weekly sex, down from 55% in 1990. 48% of married couples had no sex in the past month, and 67% of Gen Z would choose sleep over sex.
• •Hormonal Birth Control and Mate Selection: Women on the pill, which halts ovulation, show blunted sexual signaling and altered mate preferences — trending toward provisioning over physical protection cues. Men unconsciously detect ovulation through scent, appearance, and gait, and increase mate-guarding behaviors accordingly. Women who have been on the pill since adolescence and come off it when trying to conceive risk discovering they are no longer attracted to their chosen partner.
• •Hypergamy and the Coupling Gap: As women increasingly out-earn men — women earn roughly £1,500 more per year than men up to age 30 — the pool of men women consider viable partners shrinks. This creates a small cohort of high-status men with disproportionate options, a large cohort of women unable to find suitable partners, and a bottom 40% of male earners dating the top 20% of female earners in hypogamous arrangements. Men in relationships where they are not the primary earner are 50% more likely to use erectile dysfunction medication.
• •Male Sedation Hypothesis: Historically, large populations of sexless young men correlated with social unrest and antisocial behavior. The absence of that pattern today, despite record male sexlessness, suggests behavioral sedation through screens, video games, porn, and cannabis. Porn activates the same brain networks as real sex, delivers orgasm without social effort, and produces post-orgasm lethargy — reducing motivation to pursue real-world status, relationships, and achievement across the board.
• •Endocrine Disruptors and Testosterone Decline: Testosterone levels have declined measurably over 40 years, with the steepest drop in the last 20. Researchers have controlled for age, diet, weight, exercise, alcohol, smoking, and cannabis, and still identify an unexplained environmental factor. Pharmaceutical waste in water supplies has been shown to feminize and masculinize fish populations and suppress courtship behavior. A separate, underexplored mechanism: men's testosterone and sex drive are suppressed by proximity to infertile or absent women, meaning widespread hormonal contraception may be compounding male hormonal decline.
• •Porn's Mechanism vs. Addiction: Porn functions as a sedating coping mechanism for anxiety rather than a clinical addiction. Men who eliminate porn report increased motivation to approach women in person, suggesting the availability of easy sexual release reduces the drive to tolerate social risk. The progressive escalation toward more extreme content is not habituation — it is a gradual self-revelation of pre-existing preferences that users were initially reluctant to acknowledge, even to themselves.
• •Social Media and Perceived Mate Value: Roughly 1 in 10 men report reduced interest in sex with their actual partner after viewing social media influencers. Women report feeling less sexually desirable after social media use. The mechanism is upward comparison against curated, heavily edited presentations. Men conditioned to assess female attractiveness through optimized social media profiles can develop an "ick" response to real partners whose online presence does not match the artificially elevated standard they have been trained to expect.