How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook | Sam Lessin

What It Covers

Sam Lessin teaches Silicon Valley founders proper etiquette through his book and classes, covering introductions, dining, meetings, communication, and dress code to help entrepreneurs show up with confidence and low heart rate.

Key Questions Answered

• •Low heart rate mindset: Etiquette enables showing up in high-stakes situations with calm confidence rather than scarcity-driven desperation. Approach networking events and investor meetings with abundance mentality, not treating each interaction as your only shot, which helps build genuine relationships over transactional exchanges.
• •Introduction protocol: Always repeat someone's name back when meeting them to aid memory retention and show engagement. Use "great to see you" instead of "nice to meet you" to avoid awkward situations when you've forgotten if you've met before, providing plausible deniability while maintaining professionalism.
• •Dining etiquette basics: Never order the most expensive item on the menu when someone else is paying, always offer to pay even when you expect to be declined, and tip minimum 20-30% to avoid being memorable for stinginess. Let others order first to gauge meal length and formality level.
• •Meeting preparation: Arrive 10-15 minutes early, not more, to show respect without creating awkwardness. For video calls, keep camera on with appropriate background, close visible closets, and ensure beds are made. Don't order first at meals to match the other person's pace and formality.
• •Email communication: Keep messages short and scannable, avoid excessive emojis in business contexts, and carefully order recipients with most important person first in the "to" field. The CC line signals "for your information" without expecting immediate response, and position in recipient list signals priority level.