Assuming the Best About Others is Hard—But Necessary

What It Covers

Trinity University professor Amar Qaisi presents research on the "positive intent mindset" — a leadership framework built on provisionally assuming good intentions in others. The approach combines realistic optimism with accountability, countering evolutionary negativity bias and the fundamental attribution error to improve trust, collaboration, and personal well-being at work.

Key Questions Answered

• •Accountable Positivity Framework: Rather than naive optimism, Qaisi's approach starts with provisional positive intent, then verifies it through direct conversation. The sequence: pause, replace judgment with curiosity, ask yourself if you've committed the same behavior, then check with the other person using neutral "what" questions instead of accusatory "why" questions to avoid triggering defensiveness.
• •Fundamental Attribution Error at Work: Humans judge others by their actions but judge themselves by their intentions — the core bias undermining workplace relationships. The practical correction is asking, "Have I done this same thing myself?" before reacting. Most of the time the answer is yes, which reframes a colleague's missed email or forgotten meeting invite as understandable rather than malicious.
• •Realistic Optimism — Short, Specific, Impersonal: When a team member makes an error, frame it as short-term (not a permanent pattern), specific (limited to this task, not all capabilities), and impersonal (caused by circumstances like overwork, not character flaws). This framing preserves accountability while preventing one mistake from permanently damaging your assessment of someone's overall competence and potential.
• •Replacing "Why" with "What" in Difficult Conversations: Swapping why-framed questions for what-framed questions measurably reduces defensiveness. "Why did you do that?" signals judgment; "What were the reasons that led you to this?" signals curiosity. This single linguistic shift opens dialogue rather than closing it, making it easier to surface valid context before deciding whether accountability action is warranted.
• •Forgiveness as Self-Interest, Not Absolution: Qaisi cites Fred Luskin's framework: forgiveness is not reconciliation or excusing behavior — it is releasing yourself from ongoing suffering. A coaching client spent 18 years mentally replaying a toxic boss's behavior. Forgiving that boss was reframed as reclaiming mental space, not condoning past actions, making it a practical tool rather than a moral concession.