A Four-Word Buddhist Teaching for Instant Calm and (Just Maybe) Lasting Peace | Bart van Melik
Episode
16 min
Read time
2 min
Topics
Health & Wellness, Software Development, Psychology & Behavior
AI-Generated Summary
Key Takeaways
- ✓Keep Calmly Knowing Change: Scholar-monk Venerable Inalio distilled all Buddhist mindfulness teachings into four words: keep (continuity of practice), calmly (receptive attitude), knowing (awareness), and change (impermanence). Attuning to constant moment-to-moment change reduces clinging and produces genuine calm.
- ✓Children and Meditation: Rather than teaching formal seated techniques, which children associate with stillness and boredom, integrate mindfulness into activities they already enjoy, like running outdoors. Ask reflective questions afterward, such as how they feel, to build awareness without resistance or pressure.
- ✓Relational Mindfulness: Buddhist teachings include three layers of awareness: internal mind states, external surroundings, and the relational field co-created between people. Practicing awareness of how your presence impacts others, even on a crowded subway, extends mindfulness beyond solo sitting sessions.
- ✓Auditing Habitual Speech: When the urge to complain or make jokes arises socially, pause and ask why. Watch the other person's nonverbal cues to gauge impact, and occasionally resist the urge entirely to reveal whether the pattern stems from genuine connection or a need for attention.
What It Covers
Meditation teacher Bart van Melik joins Dan Harris to explore a four-word Buddhist framework for mindfulness, plus practical guidance on teaching children meditation and examining habitual social behaviors like complaining.
Key Questions Answered
- •Keep Calmly Knowing Change: Scholar-monk Venerable Inalio distilled all Buddhist mindfulness teachings into four words: keep (continuity of practice), calmly (receptive attitude), knowing (awareness), and change (impermanence). Attuning to constant moment-to-moment change reduces clinging and produces genuine calm.
- •Children and Meditation: Rather than teaching formal seated techniques, which children associate with stillness and boredom, integrate mindfulness into activities they already enjoy, like running outdoors. Ask reflective questions afterward, such as how they feel, to build awareness without resistance or pressure.
- •Relational Mindfulness: Buddhist teachings include three layers of awareness: internal mind states, external surroundings, and the relational field co-created between people. Practicing awareness of how your presence impacts others, even on a crowded subway, extends mindfulness beyond solo sitting sessions.
- •Auditing Habitual Speech: When the urge to complain or make jokes arises socially, pause and ask why. Watch the other person's nonverbal cues to gauge impact, and occasionally resist the urge entirely to reveal whether the pattern stems from genuine connection or a need for attention.
Notable Moment
Van Melik shared that his 11-year-old son, when asked how to introduce meditation to children, independently concluded that not every child is receptive — a reminder that personalization matters more than technique.
Episode Transcript
This is the 10% Happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hello, everybody. How we doing? Today, I'm talking to a great meditation teacher named Bart Van Melick. We're gonna talk about a host of fascinating issues. How to get out of your head and into your body, whether it's okay from a Buddhist standpoint to connect with other people through complaining or bullshitting, how to introduce meditation to your children, the immense power of practicing meditation with other people. And we talk about Bart's tagline, which is keep calmly knowing change. He'll explain that. What you're about to hear is a live conversation that Bart and I recorded during one of our weekly live sessions for subscribers to the 10% with Dan Harris meditation app. Bart started us off with a guided meditation. You won't hear this because we clipped it out so we can get right to the Q and A. But the session began with Bart guiding us in a meditation. The theme of the meditation was keep calmly knowing change. But we talk a little bit about what that phrase means during the conversation. Before we get to the conversation, just quickly wanna plug the app. If you sign up, you can come to our weekly live sessions where we meditate and then chop it up together. We also have a growing body of guided meditations from some of the best teachers on the planet, plus we have community features that allow you to connect with me and our teachers and my team and one another. So this meditation thing can be less lonely. Sign up at danharris.com. There's a free fourteen day trial if you wanna check it out before you spend any money. One last thing to say though before we dive in. Starting in March, we're gonna go back to our regular cadence of episode drops. So we'll be dropping new episodes only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. You may have noticed that we've been dropping some episodes on Sundays recently, but that era is coming to a close. We're going back to three a week, which will, I think, be saner for everyone. Okay. Coming up after this, my conversation with Bart Van Melick. The best b to b marketing often gets wasted on the wrong people. I can't tell you how often, scrolling and I get served ads for stuff I have no interest in. So when you wanna reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over a billion professionals, including a 130,000,000 decision makers. And that's where it stands apart from other ad buys. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company roles, seniority skills, company revenue, so you can stop wasting budget on the wrong audience. It's why LinkedIn Ads generates the highest b to b return on ad spend of all major ad networks. Seriously, all of them. Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn Ads and get a $250 …
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