Was I Used for a Visa?

Hi, Esther. I was in a nearly five year life partnership with someone that I am now very concerned used me for a visa. I sponsored this person for permanent residency here in Australia, but unfortunately, about a year ago, they walked out, and then I subsequently found out they had been cheating on me the entire relationship. This was really deeply distressing to me because at the time, this was my deepest experience of love that I'd ever had, deep care, love, and kindness. I've never really believed anyone loved me as much as this person did, and I've never really believed more in a connection between myself and another person. So I was deeply shocked. At the time, this person characterized their behavior as something they didn't really understand as self sabotage and as something to do with their family history. But a therapist I was seeing at the time said to me that she was pretty convinced that I had been used for a visa, had been completely manipulated, that this person is a psychopath or a narcissist, and that I didn't see the relationship myself with him clearly because I was just so desperate to be loved, and that I don't really know what real love feels like or should look like. Facts have come to light that probably support the psychologist's assessment, and yet there's a part of me that wants to hold on to the felt experience of love. I'm just wondering, Esther, if you can help me unpack whether I should believe my psychologist's assessment, whether I don't really see myself or relationships clearly, and how do I move forward if I don't really know what real love feels like. Thank you. Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start? Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin, or what that clunking sound from your dryer is? With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro. You just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews all on the app. Download today. You're listening. Do you recognize yourself? Yeah. I think I've dissected it so much. I almost feel I think in that voice note, kinda detached from it, but listening to it, yeah, brings it back. Mhmm. It still feels kind of unbelievable to me, the story. And the piece that feels unbelievable is what? How could I be with somebody who calms me? Is the feeling I felt real? I think the relationship and my experience in it is completely polarised from the facts that came to light. Sometimes I just feel still shocked, and I try to reconcile the person that I knew. And then when I have these memories, I try to fixate on, was there a sign? Is that really him? Is that, like, feeling I had, was it totally off? Tell me a little …