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Unlocking Us

Brené with Attica Locke and Tembi Locke on Life, Loss, and All Kinds of Love, Part 1 of 2

62 min episode · 2 min read
·
Attica Locke

Episode

62 min

Read time

2 min

Topics

Career Growth, Relationships, Fundraising & VC

AI-Generated Summary

Key Takeaways

  • Childhood play as creative foundation: Growing up in Houston with a grandmother who allowed unlimited imaginative play—turning over furniture, creating elaborate Barbie storylines with prologues and epilogues—established the sisters' storytelling abilities without judgment, teaching them creativity requires freedom from conventional constraints and shame triggers.
  • Caregiving contradictions: Effective caregiving requires consciously choosing the role rather than accepting it from societal expectation, then practicing brutal honesty about holding simultaneous truths—feeling honored to care for someone while also experiencing rage and exhaustion. This vulnerability strengthens relationships rather than destroying them when both parties acknowledge the reality.
  • Mental toughness through self-compassion: Research shows mental toughness in Navy SEALs and athletes stems from self-compassion, not self-criticism. The series demonstrates this through Amy's character, who maintains strength by allowing moments of vulnerability and receiving sister support rather than pushing through with toxic positivity or martyrdom.
  • Writers room selection criteria: Beyond technical writing ability, Attica prioritized hiring writers willing to explore existential questions and sit with life's messiness—seeking the depth of conversation that emerges at dinner parties around 11:37 PM after the third bottle of wine, when people discuss real struggles without pretense.
  • Land as grounding metaphor: Connection to earth—whether Sicilian farming families or Texas sharecroppers—provides literal and metaphorical grounding through life's chaos. Planting fava beans in January while a spouse dies in spring demonstrates how tending earth offers continuity and solid ground when everything else feels unmoored and out of control.

What It Covers

Brené Brown interviews sisters Attica and Tembi Locke about creating Netflix series From Scratch, based on Tembi's memoir about love, loss, and caregiving through her husband's ten-year illness, exploring grief, creativity, and sisterhood.

Key Questions Answered

  • Childhood play as creative foundation: Growing up in Houston with a grandmother who allowed unlimited imaginative play—turning over furniture, creating elaborate Barbie storylines with prologues and epilogues—established the sisters' storytelling abilities without judgment, teaching them creativity requires freedom from conventional constraints and shame triggers.
  • Caregiving contradictions: Effective caregiving requires consciously choosing the role rather than accepting it from societal expectation, then practicing brutal honesty about holding simultaneous truths—feeling honored to care for someone while also experiencing rage and exhaustion. This vulnerability strengthens relationships rather than destroying them when both parties acknowledge the reality.
  • Mental toughness through self-compassion: Research shows mental toughness in Navy SEALs and athletes stems from self-compassion, not self-criticism. The series demonstrates this through Amy's character, who maintains strength by allowing moments of vulnerability and receiving sister support rather than pushing through with toxic positivity or martyrdom.
  • Writers room selection criteria: Beyond technical writing ability, Attica prioritized hiring writers willing to explore existential questions and sit with life's messiness—seeking the depth of conversation that emerges at dinner parties around 11:37 PM after the third bottle of wine, when people discuss real struggles without pretense.
  • Land as grounding metaphor: Connection to earth—whether Sicilian farming families or Texas sharecroppers—provides literal and metaphorical grounding through life's chaos. Planting fava beans in January while a spouse dies in spring demonstrates how tending earth offers continuity and solid ground when everything else feels unmoored and out of control.

Notable Moment

Attica describes writing a letter to Tembi that began with listing everything she hated about her sister—her intelligence, beauty, style—then explaining how these feelings made her feel inadequate. Sliding it under Tembi's apartment door transformed their adult relationship permanently, enabling honest communication.

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Episode Transcript

Hi, everyone. I'm Brene Brown, and this is Unlocking Us. Oh, my god. I have the best conversation. If you have not seen From Scratch on Netflix yet, you gotta see it. In fact, yesterday, I saw a post by Katie Couric on my feed that was like, I just watched this, and I was looking for something lighthearted, and I'm wrecked. She wrote wrecked in all caps. Like, it is really good. So I am talking to Attica and Temby who are the showrunners, writers, executive producers, and the creative duo behind the Netflix series from scratch. It would just came out on October 21. And it's based on Temby's 2019 memoir. It's a true story. It's her story. We start talking about the series and their story, and then we go everywhere. It's a full blown life conversation, which, again, if you've seen this series, will not surprise you. I'm so glad you're here for this. At Criminal, we've made it a tradition every December to dedicate an episode entirely to animals who are really going for it. And Tony, what happened when you pulled over? Nothing out of the ordinary until I saw the cat on the back of the roof behind the luggage carrier. Listen to our fifth annual Animals episode on Criminal wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Before we get started, let me tell you a little bit about the folks we're talking to. So let's start with Temby. So after going through a monumental roller coaster life experience, Temby put pen to paper and began the very cathartic experience of writing down her personal story. And, you know, you know how we feel about stories here. This turned into Simon and Schuster's New York Times best selling memoir from scratch, A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home, which was then chosen as a 2019 Rees book club pick and picked up by Rees Witherspoon's Hello Sunshine production company and Netflix. So besides being a best selling author, Timbby is a TV producer, an actor, a screenwriter, and an advocate who is a nationally recognized speaker. She talks about resilience, loss, motherhood. She's got a great TEDx talk. Her online platform, which I love, is called The Kitchen Window. She really talks about her advocacy work and love of food to create a space for conversation about caregiving, grief, parenthood, illness, as well as sharing recipes, all things inspired by love. Attica is also a New York Times best selling author. I mean, this is not some serious sister, like, wonder twin powers activate. They're not twins, but they got, like, the sister activation going in creativity. So Attica is also a New York Times best selling author who has written five novels and been honored with a myriad of accolades, including an Edgar Award, the Harper Lee Prize for legal fiction, the Ernest Gaines Award for literary excellence, and the NAACP Image Award. She is a former fellow at the Sundance Institute's …

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Books

  • From ScratchBy guest

    by Tembi Locke

    Brené Brown interviews sisters Attica and Tembi Locke about creating Netflix series From Scratch, based on Tembi's memoir about love, loss, and caregiving through her husband's ten-year illness

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  • Brené Brown interviews sisters Attica and Tembi Locke about creating Netflix series From Scratch, based on Tembi's memoir about love, loss, and caregiving through her husband's ten-year illness

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