Brené and Ashley on Living BIG, Part 1 of 2

What It Covers

Brené Brown and therapist sister Ashley explore the connection between boundaries and compassion through the question: Are people doing the best they can? They introduce the Living BIG framework for generous assumptions.

Key Questions Answered

• •Boundaries enable compassion: Research with the most compassionate people revealed they all maintained well-defined boundaries. They assume others do their best while asking for what they need and saying no without resentment, unlike boundary-less people who judge constantly.
• •Self-righteousness as addiction: Treating self-righteous judgment as a substance requiring abstinence prevents the cycle where believing you're better than others inevitably leads to feeling worthless. Both positions occupy the same comparative mindset rather than being opposites on a spectrum.
• •The question reveals patterns: Asking forty people if others do their best showed wholehearted individuals answer yes hesitantly but maintain faith in humanity, while perfectionists answer no emphatically and judge themselves as harshly as they judge others, creating parallel resentment.
• •Resentment signals boundary failure: When saying yes but feeling resentful within ten minutes, the problem isn't others' behavior but your failure to set boundaries. People who don't value their own work enough to decline requests can't expect others to respect them.