Abe & Erin Lichy On The Truth About Marriage, Ambition, & Life Behind The Reality TV Curtain

What It Covers

Abe and Erin Lichy from Real Housewives of New York discuss marriage dynamics, entrepreneurship challenges, and parenting four children while running their mezcal brand Mescalum. They cover reality television authenticity, communication patterns in relationships, household systems with nannies and assistants, and Abe's psychedelic healing retreat that addressed his avoidant personality traits.

Key Questions Answered

• •Avoidant Communication Patterns: Abe identified his tendency to withhold information from Erin to avoid causing stress, which accumulated into larger relationship issues. This pattern came to a head with undisclosed Bitcoin sales. He addressed this through therapy and a psychedelic healing retreat combining MDMA and dissociatives, which he describes as a transformative experience that helped him become more forthright about business challenges and financial decisions with his spouse.
• •Reality TV Self-Production: Cast members who plan conversations behind the scenes or receive direction from others about what to discuss on camera become obvious to audiences over time. Authentic cast members allow situations to unfold naturally, even uncomfortable moments. Body language reveals disconnects between performative behavior and genuine emotion, particularly when the same calculated behavior repeats across multiple seasons, making viewers question authenticity and relatability.
• •Entrepreneurial Help Systems: Hiring a personal assistant transformed their ability to manage four children and multiple businesses. Erin prints weekly schedules in English and Spanish every Sunday, posting them on a bulletin board for all caregivers. This transparency eliminates repeated questions and creates clear expectations. They emphasize that help enables more quality time with children rather than less, countering criticism about using nannies and night nurses.
• •Bedtime Routine Structure: Erin implemented a 10-point system where children complete homework, unpack bags, brush teeth, shower, and are upstairs playing by 7:00 PM, in bed by 7:45 PM, asleep by 8:00 PM. This earlier schedule dramatically improved their behavior the next day. Her 11-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter become irritable and difficult without adequate sleep, making consistent bedtime enforcement essential for family functioning.
• •Mezcal Product Differentiation: Mescalum uses a blend including wild quiche agave to create lighter smoke profiles than traditional mezcal, targeting female demographics and cocktail applications. Mexican law requires mezcal to be 100% pure agave across 80 species, while tequila only requires 51% Blue Weber agave, allowing 49% additives like vanilla and caramel. This purity makes mezcal lower glycemic index, probiotic, and lower calorie than most spirits.
• •Entrepreneurial Risk Communication: Entrepreneurs face constant problem-solving with no guaranteed income, carrying stress that employees with salaries do not experience. This creates tension when non-entrepreneurs criticize lifestyle choices like hiring help. The trade-off for entrepreneurial flexibility includes bearing financial risk for employee salaries and livelihoods. Partners working together must balance CEO directives with equal cofounder status, requiring clear communication about business challenges and financial realities.