How to Deal with Aggressive People

What It Covers

Rob Dial explains how aggressive people trigger past trauma patterns in your nervous system and provides a five-step framework to stay calm during confrontations.

Key Questions Answered

• •Nervous System Response: Your reaction to aggression stems from childhood programming, not the present situation. If your dad yelled, you might still emotionally regress to age five when anyone raises their voice today.
• •Pause-Name-Regulate-Choose-Reflect Framework: Ground yourself by breathing in four seconds through your nose, out six seconds through your mouth. The person who breathes slowest physiologically controls the conversation, creating space for regulation before reaction.
• •Boundary Setting Language: Use neutral phrases like "I'm happy to talk when our voices are calm" or "I need a moment before I respond" to protect your space without escalating the conflict or adding fuel to their fire.