1380: Is Victim at Fault for Scopolamine Assault? | Feedback Friday

What It Covers

Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi tackle three listener cases on Feedback Friday: a man drugged with scopolamine, sexually assaulted, and robbed of $30,000 in Colombia; a divorced man navigating how to introduce his former affair partner to family and children; and a 22-year-old woman supporting a colleague through severe alcoholism while managing workplace fallout and personal boundaries.

Key Questions Answered

• •Scopolamine drug threat: Scopolamine, a pharmaceutical alkaloid common in Colombia, renders victims conscious but compliant, confused, and unable to form memories — making them ideal targets for robbery and assault. Criminals administer it through shared substances like cocaine. Victims appear functional enough to unlock phones via face ID, enabling thieves to disable security, change biometric access to their own face, and drain accounts before the victim regains awareness, sometimes 48–60 hours later.
• •Phone security against theft: Enabling "Attention Aware Features" and "Stolen Device Protection" in iPhone settings significantly raises the barrier for unauthorized transactions, even when a thief has physical access to your face. Avoid storing debit cards in Apple Pay entirely — credit cards offer stronger federal protections under Regulation E, limiting liability when fraud is disputed. Debit card funds are taken first and require appeals, whereas credit card disputes delay payment pending investigation.
• •Fighting bank fraud denials under Regulation E: Banks cannot legally deny unauthorized electronic funds transfer claims solely because biometric authentication succeeded during a documented robbery or drugging. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's Regulation E guidance requires bank investigations to be reasonable and review all relevant information. Victims should request the specific evidence banks claim to have, file formal CFPB complaints with detailed documentation, and consult a consumer finance attorney specializing in Electronic Fund Transfer Act disputes before accepting a final denial.
• •Trauma and shame redirection: Sexual assault survivors frequently redirect anger inward as shame rather than outward at perpetrators, partly because the perpetrator — often a stranger now untraceable — feels like an inaccessible target for anger. Channeling appropriate rage toward the actual criminal, rather than self-blame for situational risk-taking, is a necessary phase of processing. Therapy focused on identifying the specific sources of shame — circumstances, identity, vulnerability — helps convert self-directed anger into clearer accountability placement.
• •Support groups for male sexual assault survivors: RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, available 24/7 and confidential, and connects survivors with local peer support and specialized groups. Male survivors benefit specifically from male-focused groups where dynamics around masculinity, power, and sexual identity can be addressed by people with firsthand experience. Survivors can spend initial meetings listening without sharing, maintaining full control over participation pace, making it a lower-stakes environment than disclosing to family or longtime friends.
• •Introducing a former affair partner to children: When introducing a new partner to children aged six and twelve, avoid explaining or justifying the affair's circumstances to either child. Tell the twelve-year-old that the other parent may have negative feelings about the new partner and that conflicting opinions from both parents are normal and acceptable. Give children explicit permission to feel however they feel, move slowly, and notify the ex-partner before any introduction occurs so children are never placed in the position of managing classified information between parents.
• •Supporting a colleague with addiction without enabling: When a coworker discloses severe alcoholism, the supporter's role ends at connecting them to existing resources — sponsor, family, medical evaluation — not maintaining their sobriety. Feeling responsible for another person's recovery is a codependency pattern that accelerates burnout without improving outcomes. At work, deflect colleague inquiries with neutral language that neither confirms nor denies medical details. Maintain the friendship without making check-ins a daily obligation, and recognize that relapse is statistically common and not a personal failure of the supporter.