Can a Bad Man Be a Good Father?

On TikTok, entire communities are turning curiosity into connection. History lovers share stories that bring the past into focus. Scientists and educators break down big ideas with experiments and insights that make discovery feel approachable. And across art, language, and everyday tips, people on TikTok give fresh perspective on the world we share. TikTok is a place for curiosity, where learning is fun, connection is meaningful, and discovery never stops. From the New York Times, I'm Michael Barbaro. This is The Daily on Sunday. The writer, Tom Junot, is a student of flawed men. In a long and varied career in American magazines at places like GQ and Esquire, Tom profiled complicated figures like Norman Mailer, Kevin Spacey, and Tony Curtis. But in all of those profiles, another flawed man loomed in the background. One who informed how Tom thought about the very nature of masculinity and manhood. And that was his father, Lou. A man who had a life full of secrets. Tom's relationship with his dad is the subject of his new book, which is part memoir and part detective story. It's called In the Days of My Youth, I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man. And it's a powerful meditation on what we need from a father, what we inherit from a father, and how we somehow make peace with the gap in between those. Today, on Father's Day, my conversation with Tom Junot. It's Sunday, June 21. Tom. Michael. Welcome to the Sunday Daily. It's so great to be here. It's an honor to have you. Can I ask you to read from the eulogy that you read at your father's funeral? Sure. I believe it's on page four. Yeah. So the, the eulogy had a title, If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly, and that was one of my dad's sayings. My father, dad, pop up, was not like other fathers. He was not like other people, period. A lot of people have told me that he's with Jesus now. Well, with all due respect, I have my doubts, unless, of course, Jesus has shaved his beard, ditched the sandals, and is drinking a martini at the El Morocco circa 1955 with Frank and Eva. This is not to say my father was not a believer. He had a whole belief system. He believed in a lot of things, and what he believed in, he believed in absolutely. He believed that there was not a person in the world whose appearance could not be helped by exposure to the sun or what he called a fresh burn. He believed that there was not an ailment in the world that could not be cured by salt water. He believed that the way Rhett Butler treated Scarlett was the way all women should be treated, and that Clark Gable was robbed when he didn't win the Oscar for best actor in 1939. He believed that the lottery was a game of skill …