💻 “MacValue Meal” — Apple’s $599 laptop. Soulja Boy’s AI phone. Iran’s bull case. +Taser Alarm Clock

This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Thursday, the new Friday, March 5. And today's pod is the best one yet. This is a tea boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. But first, it is Jack's birthday and you are glowing over there, my friend. You know what Alex got me for my birthday? What'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do? A Rawlings baseball glove. Classic. Top of the line baseball glove. I haven't had a glove in like ten years since I'm on the ground. You wanna grease that thing even though you're never gonna use it. Put it under my mattress today. Okay. But one other big announcement besides Jack's birthday, Jack. Should we share with the Eddies? Wednesday next week, March 11 in Washington, DC, our special guest for T Boy Live, it's the Duchess of Disruption, the Sultaness of Scoops, the Queen of Asking Questions, Kara Swisher. We got Kaye Swisher. She's coming on the show live. Still got tickets, by the way. Link in episode description. Buy them now. Just a few left. Jack, three fantastic stories for today's pod. What do we got on the T Boy? For our first story, Apple just launched their cheapest laptop ever. The MacBook Neo is just $599. And it tastes like McDonald's because this is tech's first value meal. For our second story, Soulja Boy is the first rapper to clone his voice with AI. So why is Soulja Boy doing it? Well, naturally, it's for enterprise software. And our third and final story. Why are stocks actually up since the war in Iran began? Well, it's because investors see a bull swimming in the Persian Gulf. But Yeti's before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Woah. Stuck the landing. Love the mix. Fantastic mix, Jack. New trend alert. Extreme alarm clocks. We're talking about alarm clocks that will not let you snooze under any circumstances. Not just the loud noise or big vibration alarm clocks. Oh, we're talking alarm clocks that will shock you, scare you, and take your money if you don't get up. Get this. There is one startup that makes an alarm clock called the sonic boom. It physically shakes like an earthquake on your side table. It'll give you a headache. Another, it's called the shock clock. Because this thing will literally shock you up to 300 volts of energy. Another, it's called alarm y because it makes you complete a task to get the alarm to turn off. I think I love this one the most, Jack. You must type a famous quote or complete a math problem. So you wake up at 05:05AM, and it's like, what's the square root of three? I'll stop when you get it to within one decimal point. Okay. But, Bessie, wildest of all is the nudge alarm that makes you scan the barcode on the shampoo bottle over in your bathroom. And if you …